Common Questions

Over the past week we've been hearing a few of the same questions. So I thought I'd take a few minutes to answer them for those of you who have not asked us (yet).

Starting in January Rob will be going back to school full-time. There was some concern about him being able to go back since one of the courses he dropped was a full-year course and isrequired in order for him to get his B.A. You must complete the entire year in order to get the credits for a full-year course and of course you cannot start the course in January when it is half-way through. This course was one of the reason we had such a struggle deciding whether Rob should drop out of school since we knew he would not be able to go back in January as he needed this course to get his B.A. Last week Rob spoke to the Dean and the Professor of this course and they have allowed him back in the course. This means he has an exam to write on December 19 and at that time he also has to hand in an essay proposal which was due while he was gone. So that means lots of studying required the next couple weeks to catch up on what he missed, but all he needs to do is pass so he can carry on. If all goes well Rob will need to take one summer course next year and then he will have his B.A. ... and on to the College, the Lord willing.

In the meantime Rob has decided not to work this December. Usually December is a mad rush to work as many hours as possible to earn those few extra bucks as well as trying to catch up at home on all that was put on the backburner during the months in school. We felt that family was more important at this time and so even though we're both rather busy, we're enjoying some time together as a family again.

The past week has been busy as we try to catch up on many things. For myself it means reorganizing the house again. When we left in September I was just in the process of rearranging things as we tried to figure out how to fit Matthew in our house. Matthew had outgrown his Moses basket and could no longer just float wherever we needed, but required his own space. It became apparant that James was not able to share a room with anyone (much to Rebecca's disappointment) due to the continuous alarms and attention he needed at nights. So we were attempting to squeeze Matthew into the girls room. At the same time it was the time of year where you get out the winter clothes, etc. So I left the house half torn apart, and it didn't get any neater while we were gone. Upon returning home we had to "move" back in and then I began to the process of cleaning up James' stuff and rearranging the bedrooms again. James' room has been transferred into Matthew's room. Wow, amazing how spacious the room is without all that medical equipment. It seems James effected many rooms in the house. The girls room was transferred back into just the girls room. I now have an entire empty pantry in the kitchen as we no longer need all his special foods. James' toys are no longer needed in the dining room and so we make room for all the baby equipment that Matthew has. Packing away James clothes brought me to reorganizing the storage room again ..etc, etc. I'm sure many of you know how it is when you start in one spot and suddenly the whole house is upsidedown, but it's slowly coming back together.

And the most common question we're ask is how we're really doing ... and how the girls are doing. It appears the girls have mostly moved on as if nothing has really happened, but every now and then something occurs to make us realize they are still thinking and dealing with things. The other day I seen Rebecca sitting at my desk watching the computer screensaver which plays pictures from the last few months. Not long after she came to the kitchen crying "I miss James". For the next hour or so every little thing set her off crying again. Marietta continues to remain quiet and reserved, but appears to be doing fine. We also know her mind is still thinking. Before the funeral one night she suddenly blurt out during the middle of supper "how do you know James is really dead?" We explained how the heart stops beating, that you can feel it's no longer beating as well as hear it with a stethescope (she's used ours occasionally). One of the things she needed to do before James was buried was to put her hand on his chest to confirm for herself that his heart was no longer beating. Since the funeral the girls have mostly been themselves and have shown no reason for us to be concerned. They talk freely about James and like to watch homevideos of him.

I will not say that things have been easy, but all considering I feel we are doing relatively well. I am glad for the business and even for once thankful for my upsidedown house. I'm sure I would find plenty to do even if we had come home to it completely organized, but for the time being it's good to be busy. I am thankful for the children who keep us busy also. I can easily see how someone who does not have distractions can become swallowed up in their sorrow. We realize that our strength each day again comes from the Lord, who is there to help each and everyone of us in our individual circumstances.

Psalm 105:4 "Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always."