The Lord's Blessings

This morning we went to pick up Matthew, after being away from us for 9 weeks. Although we had opportunities to see him and spend time with him during these past 9 weeks, we usually felt more like babysitters then parents. We weren't always sure exactly what his schedule was, or how he liked things. We would spoil him for a day or so and then hand him back over to be "retrained". The time we spent with him was often hard on us because it reminded us of what we were missing ... our boy was growing up and we weren't there to enjoy it. But each time we had to hand him back we took great comfort in the fact that he was young enough not to realize all that was going on and that he was in great hands that were taking excellent care of him. It's a strange feeling to realize that he is back with us for good; that we will not have to hand him over again anytime soon; that we can bond with him and cherish his growing moments.

Over the past few days many have commented on what a blessing Matthew is to us, and indeed he is. Through this small child we are remind again and again of how all things are in God's control, how He has a purpose for everything that happens, how He holds the Master Plan. Right from the moment of concept God knew what He was doing. Many will remember my blog from almost a year ago where I shared our shock and anxieties over the idea of having another child. But the Lord knew what the future held and that without Matthew at this designed time there would never have been another child. The Lord blessed the pregnancy and all went smoothly. He allowed James to come out of hospital with just enough time to prepare for Matthew's birth. He gave us a small amount of time to allow us to welcome Matthew into our family before He decided that Matthew would need to be a blessing in another family for a short period of time. And the biggest blessing of all is that Matthew does not have LPI.

I still remember as clear as day the night I came to fully realize what a blessing Matthew was to us. Matthew was a little over a month old. It was a sleepless night, where James alarms, deSATs, coughing, etc seemed to be getting me out of bed every few minutes. As I fed Matthew that night it hit me like a brick wall that the Lord had likely sent us Matthew to fill the hole in our lives after James left us. When I crawled back into bed my crying woke Rob, and as I explained to him my gut feeling I began to realize that he also had this same feeling. I prayed often over the next couple months that my gut feeling was wrong, but when the second WLL failed this feeling began to speak louder. As time went on we realized that only a miracle would save our boy and we thanked the Lord each time again for sending us Matthew at a time that we thought was so wrong, but yet He knew was so right.

So when everyone comments on what a blessing Matthew is I cannot agree more. But at the same time I more and more realize what a blessing it is that we have THREE healthy children. LPI is a genetic disease, meaning that with each conception there is a 25% chance that the child will have LPI, and the Lord chose to bless us with three children who do not have LPI and we cherish each day we have with them. We have an awesome task of raising them up in the Lord. Being away so much from each other will have lasting impressions on these young, sharp minds. Although this experience can shape character, we cannot expect another such experience to build character.